MY REFLECTIONS ON JAMES 1:19-27
IN MY WORDS
(This is my personal expanded paraphrase of this passage. You could try writing one, too! Give it a shot before you read mine!)
Each one of you needs to get this right: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to be angry, for human anger doesn’t bring forth the righteous life that God wants to see. This is important for everyone to learn in order to make progress together. Be a good listener who is more interested in understanding and uplifting others than in expressing all of your own opinions or dumping your emotions where they don’t belong. You may need to stop yourself, take a step back, calm down, and quietly ponder. What has happened? What does that mean? What is your potential personal impact? What is beyond your control? What is best for everyone? Where do you want to take this? What are your options and possible solutions? How are you going to change course to get to the end goal? As you initiate a new conversation or respond to an ongoing one, think of what would be truly encouraging and edifying to the other person, to their unique personality and situation. That way you can both improve your lives in effective and mature ways instead of tearing each other down. You can defuse instead of escalate. This is what it means to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. You can be creative, compassionate, responsible, and sensible in your communication. That's the kind of good life that God wants for you.
What you feed, water, and tend in your life is what will grow. So you need to intentionally uproot the nasty weeds that have sunk into your heart - the ones that are spreading beneath the surface and popping up everywhere. Weeds are aggressive! They will take over if you let them! They will squeeze out and strangle the good things that should be growing there. So dig down, loosen the soil around them, and pull them out with the roots. Prepare the soul soil for sowing the right new seeds, or for transplanting sprouts that have already been cultivated. Be sure to tend them well; healthy plants need light, water, space, nutrients - all the good stuff! The Christian life is a continual turning away from evil and toward good. We have to daily nurture our growth toward fruitfulness.
Listen carefully to God’s word (which reflects his holy and loving heart) and then obey it. If you don’t let it soak into your soul deep enough to motivate you to do what you know is right and good, then you are really just fooling yourself about how spiritual you are. It’s like taking a quick glance at yourself in the mirror - not even stopping to wipe off the smudge from your cheek or tame the tangled hair - and then forgetting what your own face looks like. How silly and shallow to flit through life without paying attention!
The woman who truly loves God and wants to please him - she’s one who carefully studies his word and meditates on it. She doesn’t make quick assumptions or presumptions about what it means, based on what she’s been told by others or by her own first impressions. She wants to know what the authentic interpretation is, and what the implications are for her own modern life. Then she plans how to apply it and follows through with practical, kind, and wise action. This isn’t a one shot deal either. She continues this read+reflect+respond process for the rest of her life. That’s how she makes progress and enjoys the fullness of her life with Jesus.”
HERE AND NOW
But anger can also wound or even shatter relationships.
Ask yourself a few questions:
- How angry do I get?
- How do my more intense reactions affect others?
- Have I injured myself or damaged things in my anger?
- How often do I get angry?
- In what ways does my anger become apparent to others - such as sarcasm, pointed criticism, snide comments, profanity, grumpiness, passive-aggressive behavior, blame shifting, harsh words or voice, intimidating body language, out-of-control raging, silent treatment, physical aggression, etc.?
- What situations trigger my anger? What does that say about what I value most? (As in: I value ____ more than ____.) Are my values valid and held in proper priority as related to other necessary values?
- Is my anger related to not setting appropriate boundaries with others, which may include how I deal with their own anger patterns? (For example, I may quietly internalize someone else's constant criticism because I can't buck their system, but then I take it out on someone else later.)
What are healthy alternatives to anger in parenting and in other relationships? How can we grow in gentleness, patience, and grace? How can we deescalate conflicts before they get out of control? Here are some articles I have written in the past several years.- Stop, Drop and Roll! (How to Deal with a Conflict)
- Banging the Buttons
- Tender Compassion for Mothers
- Hypothetical (a short story)
- Child Discipline or Child Abuse?
- Reflections on Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel series
And finally, extending my gardening metaphor from the In My Words section, I have a poem for you. I seriously need to reevaluate this one, because I see a lot of weeds popping up, and I haven't been planting enough good seed!
"A Mother's Seeds"
by Virginia Knowles
A mother sows seeds
Sows in hearts softened by sweet nurture
Seeds of myriad sizes, shapes, and sorts:
Truth, mercy, faith, repentance, salvation
Wisdom, praise, discipline, responsibility
Love, joy, peace
Here a seed, there a seed, everywhere a soul seed
No mother is purely saint, saintly pure
So subtle weed seeds slip from her packet too:
Bitterness, pride, impatience, sloth, doubt, scorn, fear
She may wisely snatch them up again right away
Before harm takes root in tender spirits
But some sink in and grow in spite
Later to be plucked out, or not
Yet she seeks to sow good seed in good soil
Not for the pleasure of plowing, digging. straining
Staining hands and knees with clay
Casting bloodied thorns and stubborn stones aside
Not for these trials she toils, bowed low
But for the hope, for the promise of the soul seed’s sole purpose:
Oh, for the fruit!
Working, watering, worrying, weeping, watching, waiting. wondering:
Will these tiny seeds fulfill destiny
First with green stem and fragrant blossom, and then fruit at last?
Or will they lie lifeless underground or shriveled on dry crust of earth?
Oh, did one, even just one, take root deeper and deeper in the divine deep?
Anchored by a sturdy, centering, downward shaft
With fragile spreading threads tangled outward, seeking sustenance?
Oh, for the fruit of those roots unseen!
So: more seeds! Sow more seeds! Sow and sow again!
Lord, make them grow!
For a mother must be faithful but He alone can bring forth fruit!
(Soli Deo Gloria! Gloria in Excelsis Deo!)
His fruit is sweet and succulent, swelling with more seeds
Later to be scattered far beyond her own field, season after season
Nations and generations shall witness her seeds and His fruit
Fruit from seed, and seed from fruit
From her home to His uttermost gardens
From her time to His eternity
For a mother’s heart sows well beyond her own wee plot
She mothers young and old, neighbor and sojourner
Her reach is far and deep, patient and persistent
Any seeking soul becomes her soil
She meets needs with diligent deeds
Bathes each one in warming rays of kindness and prayer
A mother’s heart sows these seeds then
Waters, works, watches, waits, wonders again and again
By faith, hope, and love, she reaps abundant harvests
When goodly, godly fruit is ripe at last!
TAKING IT FURTHER
The other posts for this passage:
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